Black Women: Why So Many Remain Single

Bored Young Woman Stirring Coffee

First, before we start the countdown (in no particular order) let’s be clear, there are a lot of reasons why black women stay single; whether it’s a choice or unbeknownst to them.

However, the main reason at the end of the day is YOURSELF! If you’re a black woman and you’re single, I hate to be so blunt, but it’s because you want to be.  We can find out the things that typically hold women back from getting past single. Perhaps if we’re able to take responsibility for our personality flaws, we’ll ensure a better future for ourselves.

Top 5 Reasons

1. “Mr. Right”  – At this point we all know there is someone that’s right for everyone. “Mr. Right” doesn’t technically exist. Dreaming up a Hollywood looking man with a height, weight, and income that matches your “perfect” guy will only set you up for more failure. Realistically, you should say the things that matter most to you in a guy and go off that list. Is this settling? No. It’s called, “Keeping it real!”

2. Just Can’t Pick ‘Em –  Every time you gravitate to the bad boy, you’ve taken the time to set yourself back just a little bit longer from letting the right guy find you. Consider checking out the more demure guy that’s sitting off in the corner of the room.

Focus more on what values the person may have after meeting them versus the guy that comes off as the player, but he’s cute, the narcissist, but he’s paid, the thug, but he’s tall. If you keep picking that particular guy, you might want to do some research on yourself and why you keep picking losers.

3. Overly I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T – Notice I said, “overly,” and not plain old independent. It’s okay to work, make your own money, foot your own bills, pay your own mortgage, and blah, blah, blah. Here’s where the problem lies, you make it known by the blood on your fingertips you’ve acquired the college degree, the new car, a home, and make it known that “YOU did that!” Bravo! You deserve all of this, but you don’t need to make the announcement. Whether it’s by actions or verbally that you can take care of yourself, we know!!!

A man will interpret that you’re not ready to play a woman’s role in the relationship if you’re always buying, giving, stepping up to plate before he even gets a chance. Relax! you’re either the giver or the receiver in a relationship. Know your role.

4. Pushing for Commitment Too Soon – You can’t force someone to do what they don’t want to do. Point. Blank. Period. A relationship has to grow and blossom on it’s own. You haven’t found a husband on the first date. However, it’s very possible that a first date can lead to meeting your husband. Your clock ticking isn’t a reason to force the relationship. Patience is a virtue.

5. New Guy Paying for Old Guy Mistakes – Why? Being so wrapped up in your emotions of what the “old guy” did to hurt you will only hinder the possibilities of you and the “new guy.” If you’re still holding on to what the “old guy” has done, it’s very possible you’re not over him and need to take that time to let go before starting a new relationship. Don’t open another door if you haven’t closed the other.


Take note of what has hindered you from letting the right guy find you. Understand that you are special and uniquely made. Don’t let things that are minor hold back a major change in your life. Get to know you and what you like, and it would make for an easier future. Good Luck!

Loving My DID’s,

Dree Bo



Related Articles:

The Switch Up: How To Have Better Sex

Important Relationship Questions: Part 1

Getting Past A Break-Up

Yes He Cheats, But He Loves Me!

Open Relationships: Keeping It Happy & Healthy?

SEX 101: What He Wants You To Know

Relationship Killers: How To Avoid Getting Dumped



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