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CRAYONS VS. COCKTAIL: BEING A MOM AND HAVING A LIFE

Busy Mom

That’s right! I said it, but I’m sure you were thinking it, at LEAST once. It seems like it is NEVER enough!

Usually, I only write articles on the “this and that” of a relationship. Not this article. This is going to be a soft rant for all the moms that have at some point felt the way I have.

Sometimes as women we can never do enough between balancing our relationship and being a mom. Somehow we go from having a life of our own to living for everyone else. Before you know it, you’ve taken no time for yourself.

All the goals you once wanted to complete are now on the back burner. Yet, you always find time to help someone else reach their goals, whether it’s your mate or your children. Being in a relationship (whether married or not) with kids makes it even harder.

Don’t get me wrong, we know this when we sign up for motherhood; it’ll be a challenge. It’s just crazy how soon we end up losing ourselves, a little bit at a time along the way unbeknownst to us. Especially if your child(ren) are school-aged, being more dependent upon your time. You have to cook, clean, educated, dictate, mate, and all the while, you haven’t eaten a morsel of food, and you haven’t done anything for yourself.

I used to feel like I was being overlooked. I did everything for my family besides go to space and bring a chunk of the moon home for show-and-tell. I was the barber, the beautician, the counselor, the pediatrician, the maid, the cook, the servant, the nanny, the transportation service, the teacher, the physical therapist, speech therapist, the play-school playmate, the gymnast and more.  I mean, you name the profession, I’ve done it. I’m sure I’m not the only one that felt like screaming, ” OH MY GOODNESS! CAN I PLEASE GET A FREAKIN’ BREAK?”

By break I don’t mean a DAY away from the kids. That isn’t equivalent to the other 364 I actually spend with them. I don’t want some sweet chocolate’s on Mother’s Day, with jewelry that says MOM. or a card expressing how much they love me that day.

To be truthful, I can’t stand Mother’s Day. I am a mom 24-7, 365, and one day isn’t going to make or break me. I understand it’s to show appreciation, blah blah blah. But listen here, this is my opinion, my thoughts. My point is, I wonder when is enough, enough? Is this the life you’ve literally signed up for as a mom in a relationship?

Well now that you’ve listened to my rant, I’ll share with you some tips that worked for me, on how to juggle without feeling like you’re in an actual circus:

1.  Buy a planner– Don’t time the things you need to do, just write down the things you need to do. Priority first. Scratch off the list as you go. A planner became my life-saver. I suffered from “out-of-sight, out-of-mind.” Now when I see what I have to do, it’s much easier than try to jog my memory.

2.  Take a bubble bath– I mean this with all my heart. Take a bath, with bubbles, door locked, music (preferably Pandora), with headphones. Remain in the tub until you look and feel like a prune, and have to run more hot water. Once you get out take all the time you need to lotion up. Whatever you do, don’t rush. Absolutely NOTHING is a priority right now except you. Try this at LEAST once a week. I know you try to rush through bath and shower time and get back to the family. NOT this time!

3.  Plan out next weeks meals a week ahead– Try a crock-pot dish that can cook overnight as well. If you’re confused on what to make, try Allrecipes.com. Dinner can cook while you sleep.

4.  Plan a night out alone or with your girlfriends– Take this time to do something that you want to do. If you choose to spend it with your girlfriends, you can rant, complain and have a drink if you please. Eat whatever you want, and complain some more. One thing I’ve learned from having some of the best girlfriends on earth; true girlfriends will never get tired of listening to your complaints. Trust me!! We are true sisters!

5Plan one-on-one time (no kids) with your mate– Leave your troubles behind. Whatever needs to be done at home will just have to wait. Don’t discuss bills, his job, your job (including being a stay-at-home mom). Just talk about you two or just bask in each others company if you have nothing to say. Mentally shut down everything else except focusing on each other.

This isn’t a quick fix guide to the long road you have ahead with the responsibilities you acquire as a mom in a relationship. It’s just some tips to ease the feelings you may also gain trying to balance your life. Please take the time you need to keep sane and whole.

Loving my DID’s,

Dree Bo

 

Related Articles:

SHOULD I INTRODUCE MY CHILD TO SOMEONE I’M DATING?

WHICH IS MORE IMPORTANT: YOU OR THE VIDEO GAME?

5 KEYS TO RELATIONSHIP HAPPINESS THROUGH COMMUNICATION

 

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Comments

  1. Love this article Dree! I need a break from Sasha every now and then lol

  2. I LOVE love this. I wholeheartedly agree that we as moms- me being a single mom- my kids tend to take over, which is wonderful but in order for me to keep being a wonderful to my kids- I have to put myself first at times. Which is why I plan my mommy nights and even mommy vacations. I’ll drop them off for a night with the grandparents or even a sitter. An hour or two does all the difference. And even a night away from the kids to visit with friends out of town is amazing. It definitely gets my feelings up and wake up a little happier.

    Boy you are not lying about Mother’s day!

    Keep blogging- love this!

  3. Thank you xxwonderwomanxx,

    Your name says it all. Moms are real-life superheroes. Keep up the good work finding time for you. And bless those grandparents!! Aren’t they just life-savers? Yes.

    Dree Bo

  4. Thank you! I needed this reminder! But I’ll save the hot baths till the weather cools down!

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