SHOULD I INTRODUCE MY CHILD TO SOMEONE I’M DATING?

kidspic

Yes, but ONLY if you believe it’s serious. So what’s serious?  Keep in mind that every relationship is different so you’ll have to define ahead of time what’s “serious” for you, whether it’s three months or one year into the relationship.  If you don’t introduce the man your interested in to your chaotic lifestyle that you’re accustomed to, rest assured as soon as you do, things may change. If you really like him, don’t keep him in the dark.  Tell him about your situation.  Entering into a new relationship is scary enough.  Adding a child into the equation can be even scarier.  Some people believe there’s a perfect time to introduce your beau and child to each other.  NOT! News Flash!!!!  There is no perfect time.  You just have to access the situation and be sure that this is the best thing for you and your child.  Remember: He’s dating you, not your kid.

Do’s and Dont’s

DO explain to your child, provided their old enough to understand, that you’re going to be spending a bit more time with someone you’re interested in. Be realistic to their reaction and open to discussing any questions they may have. 

DON’T just surprise your child with this new man before telling them about him first.

DO set a goal.  Pick a time frame in which you will choose to introduce them.  For example, if your rule is to date someone for at least a few months before becoming monogamous, then set a goal to plan the introduction around that time.  This gives you time to tell both parties about each other.

DON’T take your man to meet your children if you’re a serial dater, and you have no future plans with this person. It’s unwise to bring multiple prospects around your children if you’re not looking to settle down at some point.

I can tell you from personal experience it’s harder than you would think to introduce your child(ren) to someone your interested in and vice versa. I had a triple “whammy”, I waited months before I introduced my now boyfriend to my daughter.  I told him she was disabled, but didn’t give the extent.  As if that wasn’t hard enough, he didn’t have any children of his own. Talk about the prize of a lifetime.  It sounds worse than it really was:

“Excuse me you non-kid having guy.  Can you date the lady with the disabled kid but just meet her later?  Don’t worry about what you’re getting yourself into right now.”

Lucky for me, he didn’t run for the hills. Really all you have to do is start off with good intentions and give it time.  Don’t rush into anything!  As long as he knows the child exist, there is no hurry in rushing into the introductions. Remember: He’s dating you, not your kid.

Good Luck my Damsels in Distress!!!

Dree Bo

 

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